Friday, May 28, 2010

Save Yourself from the Singles Swamp

I just saw this really great blog post by Baruch Gordon on Arutz 7. He describes something very similar to what I went through:
In 1983 when I started going out on shidduchim [blind dates pre-arranged by a matchmaker], Rabbi Shlomo Aviner of Bet El published a book called Pirkei Ahava on dating and marriage. In the first few pages, he lays down a principle that changed my attitude towards shidduchim to the point that, coincidentally or not, I married the next girl that I dated.
I myself started a couple of years later, and did not find my wife so fast. However, Rabbi Aviner's advice was very helpful to me:
Rav Aviner explains that a person must approach the shidduch with emunah [faith]! He must have faith that if G-d has made this shidduch materialize, and

1. the girl is suitable, and
2. the girl has positive traits which are congruent with his aspirations and spiritual level and
3. there is some level of attraction,

then he should believe that this is the girl that G-d has designated for him.
Read the rest of his blog for an elaboration on the subject.

Personally, it breaks my heart to see bachelors and bachelorettes that have met many suitable men/women but just lack the faith and courage to take the plunge.

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