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Thursday, September 25, 2008

That Rabbi Drove Me Crazy!

25 Elul, 5768

I recently read an interesting story in Hebrew. I've translated it for the English speaking world. The message is universal:
He is really controversial, this rabbi. On the one hand - it cannot be denied - he knows everything! Okay, perhaps I exagerated a little... but anything that you ask him - he has an answer, a source, or a nice idea to add. Tell him the beginning of a verse - and immediately you will receive the continuation. A midrash, and you will receive three other related ones. He is well versed in Talmud and early rabbinic authorities, Jewish Law and homilies. Chasidim and their opponents, early and later authorities - he knows how to quote them all quickly and with great precision.

But there is also the other hand...

Just as he is erudite in Torah, so is he in secular matters. Even worse, holiness and impurity dwell together by him. Once I asked him, "Where are there sources on 'kos shel brachah'?" - and suddenly he thought of all kinds of dirty and strange associations that I am not able even to repeat them. Once I asked him about bananas and he answered me caustically, with words that I had never heard in Yeshiva.

The first time this happened I was frightened. I literally fled from him back to the Beit Midrash.

The second time - I was surprised, I didn't continue the conversation, but my curiosity of his strange personality grew.

The third time that he answered me in this fashion, I couldn't control myself and I continued the conversation. "What is it exactly that you said?" I asked, and I requested to delve into the depths of the matter - and he told me things that I had never heard...I asked him a question regarding Jewish Law, and I received an entire lesson on "sexual education"...even pictures weren't lacking... and even short films... I departed confused, and that entire evening I wasn't able to learn properly in the Yeshiva.

And despite this - I returned to ask him another question. And another one. And sometimes after the evening learning session in Yeshiva - another one. To be honest I don't know how to get out of this...

He drove me crazy, that Rabbi Google.


(Translated from Mayanei Hayeshua vol. 365)

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yes, one has to be prudent about asking a shaila of the Googler Rebbe!

Cosmic X said...

Anon,

Having Internet Rimon or some other product that filters out the garbage also helps.

yaak said...

Cute post.

Cosmic X said...

Yaak,

Thanks. Cute it may be, but it spotlights a very real problem.

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