What's It Like To Learn Gemara?

This post is a based on what I heard a long time ago from Rabbi Amnon Yitzchak. The idea is to give those who have never learned Gemara an idea of what learning Gemara is like:

A professor comes to visit his friend the rabbi and finds him learning Gemara.

The Professor: I see you Jews learning Gemara all the time. I would like to learn Gemara as well.

The Rabbi: It's not for you professor.

The Professor: Why not?

The Rabbi: Because we Jews have a special way of thinking.

The Professor: Rabbi, I'm a professor! I have many years of learning under my belt. I am sure that I'll be able to catch on to your way of thinking. Give me an example.

The Rabbi: Fine. I'll ask you a question. Two men fell down a chimney. One man got dirty and the other did not. Which one has to take a shower?

The Professor: That's easy! The one that got dirty has to take a shower, of course.

The Rabbi: No, the one that didn't get dirty.

The Professor: Huh???

The Rabbi: The one that didn't get dirty looks at the one that got dirty and says to himself, "Just like he got dirty I also must be dirty. Therefore I have to take a shower." The one that got dirty looks at the one that didn't get dirty and says to himself, "Just like he's not dirty I am also not dirty. Therefore I do not need to take a shower." I told you professor that learning Gemara is not for you!

The Professor: Rabbi, ask me another question!

The Rabbi: Okay, I'll ask you another question. Two men fell down a chimney. One man got dirty and the other did not. Which one has to take a shower?

The Professor: No problem rabbi, you just taught me that! The one that didn't get dirty has to take a shower!

The Rabbi: Professor, what kind of logic is that? The one that didn't get dirty looks at himself and sees that he is clean, so he doesn't need to shower. The one that got dirty looks at himself and sees that he is dirty, so he realizes he needs to shower. Do you see professor that learning Gemara is not for you?

The Professor: Rabbi, give me another chance. Ask me another question.

The Rabbi: Okay, professor. Two men fell down a chimney. One man got dirty and the other did not. Which one has to take a shower?

The Professor: Uh, the one that got dirty...no, the one that didn't get dirty. One of them has to take a shower.

The Rabbi: Wrong, neither of them has to take a shower. The one that didn't get dirty looks at himself and sees that he is clean, so he doesn't need to shower. The one that got dirty looks at his friend that didn't get dirty and says to himself, "Just like he's not dirty I am also not dirty. Therefore I do not need to take a shower."

The Professor: Rabbi, give me one last chance.

The Rabbi: Okay professor, listen carefully to the question. Two men fell down a chimney. One man got dirty and the other did not. Which one has to take a shower?

The Professor: Rabbi, I don't know!

The Rabbi: Both of them have to take a shower, of course. After all, you can't fall down a chimney without getting dirty!