The Chaim Walder Scandal and Suicide.

I feel that I have to put down some of my thoughts on this matter. For those of you who do not know:

Haredi author and radio personality Chaim Walder was found dead in Petah Tikva Monday afternoon, after apparently taking his own life.

The 53-year-old writer and educator, best known for his series of children’s books, Children Talk About Themselves, was found dead at his son’s grave in Petah Tikva at the Segula Cemetery Monday afternoon.

Walder’s apparent suicide comes after a wave of allegations against him of sexual misconduct, including a report by Ha’aretz which cited the claims of 22 alleged victims, including underage boys and girls.

I am not going to opine as to the veracity or the falsity of the claims against the man. Similarly, I am not going to get involved in the discussion of whether this case was handled properly. But I do have a few takeaways from the scandal and its aftermath that are worth stating regardless how one feels about the case.

1) One should avoid receiving counseling in private from members of the opposite sex. The Torah has very strict laws with regard to yichud, being secluded with a person of the opposite sex. Unfortunately we have been witness to people who should know better ignoring these laws. Rabbis are only human. They and those who seek their counsel should realize this.

2) Know the laws of Lashon HaRa. (forbidden speech). One has to know when to keep his mouth (or keyboard) shut. On the other hand, one has to know when to speak up to prevent others from being harmed.

3) Avoid getting into arguments that you are really not a party to. "He that passeth by, and meddleth with strife not his own, is like one that taketh a dog by the ears" (Proverbs 26:17). It's not a good idea to grab a dog by the ears.

4) Don't commit suicide! I almost forgot this one. I can understand that there are situations where people think that there is no other way out. But, in general, this is forbidden

This case has left a big wound that may take some time to heal. "Heal us, O LORD, and we shall be healed; save us, and we shall be saved; for Thou art our praise."

Suicide is Wrong and Moshe Silman is not a Hero

The truth must be said, in a loud and clear voice that can be heard and felt all over the world: suicide is wrong:

Judaism regards suicide as a criminal act. Someone who commits suicide is considered a murderer. It matters not whether he kills someone else or himself. His soul is not his to extinguish.

Judaism's opposition to suicide is found in the story of Noah's Ark. After the flood, God says to Noah:

Your blood which belongs to your souls I will demand; from the hand of every beast will I demand it. From the hand of every man; from the hand of every man who is his brother will I demand the life of man. (Genesis 9:5)

The Talmud (Baba Kama 90b) learns from the first part of the verse, "And surely the blood of your lives I will demand," that one may not wound his own body. All the more so, he may not take his own life.

Moshe Silman led a very troubled life:

A psychiatric report was uploaded to the Rotter.net website, which was attached to Silman’s law suit against Israel’s social security administration, reveals a man raised by a violent father, himself a Holocaust survivor, who used to beat Moshe mercilessly. So much so, that the latter left home at age 14 to escape his father’s wrath. He lived on the streets as a teenager, used drugs and supported himself by breaking into cars. He attempted to rehabilitate himself through his military service, but was ultimately discharged on psychiatric grounds.

Silman was unable to forge steady relationships with women, nor was he ever able to hold on to a job for a long time. He ended up leaving for America and bandied about until he decided to return to Israel some time around the year 2000 (his ability to recall dates and chronological events is impaired, according to the report).

His attempt to establish a business ended in abysmal failure, as he was unable to cope with clients, debt payments and the different government offices. To get out of debt he made his mother sign a mortgage in his behalf which he was unable to pay back. In 2005, after he was evicted for lack of payments from an apartment he purchased in Jaffa, Silman attempted suicide. According to the report, he took pills and slashed his wrists.

Moshe Silman certainly deserves our sympathies. However, he is not a hero. Those who are "dancing on his blood" in order to advance their own political and/or economic agendas are truly revolting.